sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
