I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
