you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
