Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
