Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
