i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
as a side note pls kill me
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