I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize