Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize