you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize