Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
