dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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