I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
