just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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