You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize