i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you didnt know i had herpes?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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