What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
