He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
