Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
