I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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