What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
