i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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