1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
