Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
