I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
