well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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