Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
