just come out here and I will go home with you...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
