she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
