Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
