Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
