i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
