I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
