ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
