Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
