i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
