I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Little spoons don't ask big questions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just high enough for therapy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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