Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
