ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
