wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
