awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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