So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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