I'm really into asian looking animals
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
