he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
