I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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