so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize