He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
