We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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