Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
