sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
