There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize