please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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