smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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