she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His nipple licking is glorious
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