More tranny stories later!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
