and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize