My hand turned me down
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
