New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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