I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
