Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
