someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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