Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
