maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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