woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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