why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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