Its about making memories worth repressing
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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