I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
